For once in your life, you are about to meet a politician who can actually live up to the first 6 letters in the word “candidate.” Prepare to be amazed.

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How would you like your Congress to run like this? I, for one, think it should.

We’ve just gone through an exhausting election cycle, with politicians calling us “my friends,” calling themselves “mavericks” and agents of “change,” and repeating things like “straight talk” and “let me be clear.” Excuse me for being blunt, but have you been able to wipe all the soot off your derriere yet? Because, personally, I’ve had so much smoke blown up my butt over the last 2 years, it’s starting to feel like the ceiling of FDR’s Cadillac. (In case you didn’t know, FDR smoked 4 packs a day.)

Look, folks, the wheels of today’s political machine are greased with money. It is, after all, the Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules. So, how has that been working out for us? Congressional approval ratings are at the lowest levels in recent memory. The guy with the most money to throw into a campaign usually wins. So, it stands to reason that the ones weilding power and influence in D.C. right now (you know, the ones with barely a two-digit job approval rating) are the ones who spent the most money on their campaigns.

If we are truly ready to embrace “change,” then how about we ditch the status-quo and join up with a true ”maverick” who will give you “straight talk” and “hope.” That’s right, me. The guy with no money to speak of, who has no influence to peddle. The guy who simply wants to help put an end to the cycle of the common man feeling left out of the process. Isn’t it still “we, the people?”

Last time I checked, the Declaration didn’t say “life, liberty, and the pursuit of having lawyers making laws to benefit lawyers.” But that’s what we have (although the “liberty” part has been trampled on a bit). 40% of the House of Representatives and a whopping 60% of the Senate are made up of lawyers. I think lawyers are more than adequately represented in D.C., don’t you?

Oh, one last thing… I’m not a lawyer. I’m an assembly-line worker. And I’m used to doing some heavy lifting.